Blog Comment Policy
I really do love watching my commenters interact with each other and with the information and food for thought I provide. In order to keep discussion moving, I only moderate comments after the fact. If your comment doesn't appear immediately - don't resubmit. Just @reply me on Twitter or shoot me an email - I'll check the spam filter.
I reserve the right to delete comments that do not contribute to a healthy discussion. Users who repeatedly violate my comment policy will be blocked from posting.
This is not a violation of your freedom of speech and it is not censorship. This blog is my virtual house, and I reserve the right to remove you from its premises. That said, I only block users in extreme instances, and certainly not for censorial reasons.
Quick things to remember:
1. People are at different places, and expect not to be judged when they come here. So don't judge them.
2. No language policing - meaning you take someone at their word, regardless of whether or not they swore or said something in a way you didn't like.
3. Do not question someone else's salvation. The blog audience consists of Christians, non-Christians, and a lot of people who are questioning. Telling someone they're not saved (or that they are doing Christianity wrong) when they're already questioning where they stand in Christianity is one of the most damaging things you can do. Do it here, and you're gone, no exceptions.
4. No rape analogies or jokes. "Oh, I feel like this post raped me." (actual comment I've been left). No. Not even close to funny. Do it, and you're banned.
5. Code words like "misandry" and "beta male" are MRA-baiting, and I don't tolerate MRAs. Go cry about it on Reddit, but don't bring that shit here.
6. Don't derail. It's not my job nor any of the commenters' jobs to educate you, nor is it our obligation to respond sweetly and kindly to every little thing. If you are derailing - turning it into a discussion about my "tone" or making it about YOU - then you will be warned, and subsequently banned.
I have a lot of survivors who read the blog, and so I try to remember to put trigger warnings at the top of each post. My previous blog format allowed a TW right on the front page, but this one does not, so I apologize for if older posts are lacking it.
Trigger warnings are our way of protecting those who have experienced abuse, and honoring their journey as survivors. If you are putting a story that might be triggering in your comments, please add a trigger warning. This isn't something that would get you banned or whatever, but it's simply the decent thing to do.
And last, Captain Awkward has this to say on her comment policy, and I agree with it very much:
Having your comment deleted or being asked to stop commenting in a particular thread or to move on from a topic of discussion is IN NO WAY an invitation for you to send me lengthy emails detailing your thoughts. If I wanted to read Your Thoughts I would have let you keep posting them.
I avidly read and occasionally write for social justice blogs, and I recognize (and love) that much of the audience comes from the sites I look up to. I am committed to reducing the amount of racism, sexism, able-ism, class-ism, body shame, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, neocolonialism and general ignorance in the world. However, this is a “101″ space where people come to ask difficult questions and wrestle with their own demons. With the help of the awesome community of commenters, I try to make a safe-R space, but it is not a “safe space” in the way that Shakesville (for a much-admired example) aspires to be.
What that means practically is that you may absolutely question someone’s _____-ist phrasing and assumptions (including mine). But you may not assume that everyone has read all the same books and blogs you’ve read or that we’re all working from the same script. I will delete tedious language-policing and “That story you told about your own personal experience didn’t expressly address my exact situation, so you are excluding/silencing me!” hijacks as fast or faster than I delete that one guy who constantly emails all the ladybloggers to remind us that he’s boycotting American women.
Basically: be a decent human being, and we should get along fine.