In a completely unexpected way, the blogging world exploded this week with a discussion of virginity, purity, and the sexism and damage it contains. Thank. God.
For me, these things that are new discussions for a lot of the mainstream blogging world have been the background radiation of this blog for a while. And when I got a comment a couple weeks ago asking why I seemed so okay with premarital sex if this is a faith based blog, I realized it may be time to revisit the topic, which I’ll be doing over the next few weeks.
To kick it off, Worth Reading This Week are a couple barn-burner posts from my friends Sarah Bessey and Emily Maynard, just in case you missed them.
First, Sarah wrote about shame over at A Deeper Story and broke the internet (emphasis original):
Over the years the messages melded together into the common refrain: “Sarah, your virginity was a gift and you gave it away. You threw away your virtue for a moment of pleasure. You have twisted God’s ideal of sex and love and marriage. You will never be free of your former partners, the boys of your past will haunt your marriage like soul-ties. Your virginity belonged to your future husband. You stole from him. If – if! – you ever get married, you’ll have tremendous baggage to overcome in your marriage, you’ve ruined everything. No one honourable or godly wants to marry you. You are damaged goods, Sarah.”
If true love waits, I heard, then I have been disqualified from true love.
And then Emily posted at Prodigal about losing her v-card and made me yeah “HELL YEAH”:
I’m done standing apart from my brothers and sisters who have been abused or manipulated or coerced or had their ability to choose taken away from them. I’m done adding to a culture that humiliates victims who are walking out healing in their own way. We’re quick to offer platitudes of grace, but oh so slow to engage the individuals or social structures that perpetuate abuse.
I’m done blanketing all sexual experience outside of marriage as sin and never acknowledging that abuse can happen within a marriage. I’m done with Christians enforcing oppression in the name of purity.
I’m unbelievably glad that the mainstream blogging world is beginning to pick up the torch on this topic, not just because it’s a major part of my book project, but because moving toward a conversation about healthy sexuality is massively important if the church really wants to make justice a part of their agenda.