Posts tagged boundaries
Practical Praxis: Choosing Your Battles

Lots of supposed allies to the feminist movement think that there is something to be gained from engaging our ideological opponents at every opportunity – if we don’t spend our time arguing with them over this, how can we possibly affect change? And that’s a legitimate argument in some respects – ideology enacted in isolated groups is quite dangerous, cultish behavior. But it’s also an argument that frequently comes with an unwieldy burden on marginalized persons – this is how educating our oppressors about our oppression becomes A Thing. It forces us to justify our existence to people who don’t give a rat’s ass about it one way or the other.

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Get Along to Get Along: Why Boundaries Matter

Unfortunately, in the modern American evangelical church and even in post-evangelical progressivism, we try to make “everyone gets along!” the highest of all potential virtues. If everyone’s friendly and getting along, we can have UNITY. Or something resembling it. And I think a lot of this philosophy is bred directly into how we teach about the incarnated Body of Christ as the Church.

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Letting Them Fall: Why Withdrawing Help from an Abuser is a Kindness

It’s a remarkable thing when a child learns to walk. Being in my late 20s, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing several friends embiggen their families through the addition of children, and I've watched those kids go from small, swaddled blanket balls to yelling, running, screaming short creatures of terror. Growing up is a weird and intensely brave process, and so is being a parent. When a kid is learning to walk, she first grabs hold of your fingers tightly, afraid to attempt to balance on her own. You get used to walking around bent over, holding their hand, aiding their balance as they go.

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The Need For Boundaries: False Intimacy in the Church

I’ve had friends tell me stories of complete strangers coming up to them, asking to speak Words of Prophecy into their lives, but boundary violations aren’t unique to the charismatic traditions. In my decidedly not charismatic Baptist upbringing, one was still expected to divulge secrets and struggles in prayer request circles, and to forge falsely intimate relationships with people on Sunday who would pretend you didn’t exist in the halls at school on Monday.

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