It took me a few years and a lot of work to get to a point where I was comfortable dressing in more feminine and more “revealing” clothing. For me, owning my body and owning my choices meant learning how to mimic and play at those gender expressions disregarded as “typically feminine.” I had to teach myself how to do make up, to do my hair, to be comfortable in dresses and “fancy” clothing. Modesty culture, in its attempts to protect my womanhood, had robbed me of my understanding of myself as a feminine being.Read More
But I can’t help but notice each of these posts gets a few things ridiculously, terribly off about how women’s bodies function. Men tend to make some very wrong assumptions when they talk about how women dress and what we choose to wear. And it’s time we cleared the air.Read More
We were all trying so hard to live up to an ideal driven by guilt, shame and conservative politics which ignored human emotions. After a long, long time I realized I wasn't a bad person. Of course, I still would have promoted abstinence as I was heartbroken from the whole experience, just like they had warned me. Then I realized something else: that was the reason I felt bad.Read More
Modesty standards – not wearing that bikini, not wearing those yoga pants, not wearing that v-neck shirt – are all a form of attempting to combat objectification, to prevent being seen as less than human. But, modesty culture insists men and women lust in ways that are so entirely different as to be alien to each other. Within this culture, the stark gendered differences create an environment ripe for objectification, regardless of clothing – because the eye is being trained to notice clothing and presentation before noticing the person wearing them.