Posts tagged personal stories
When Grief is Never Quite Done: Community and the Needs of Others

Grief isn’t a linear progression – it’s a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey corkscrew of better days and bad days and days when you manage to be genuinely, truly happy. And I am, for the most part, very happy. I live in my favorite city and I’m doing a degree here. I have wonderful, caring friends who have already become my “squad” after just a month. I never want for people to reach out to – it’s the actual act of reaching out that’s hard.

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Learning to Take Up Space As a Woman

But perhaps my discomfort with discussing my work with my new colleagues is less about self-deprecation and more about my acculturated womanhood. My male friends here have zero problem bragging about having had drinks with Vanessa Redgrave, or doing gap years in the Middle East with NGOs. These things that would be my dream fall from their lips with a smile, as though they are as commonplace as saying what you talked about in seminar that day.

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Sexual Identity is Not a Moral Position

It is not a moral solipsism that refuses criticism of my bisexuality, my selfhood. It is a fight for survival of that very self. My identity is not a moral position and as such, it is impossible to engage in criticism of that which cannot be placed on the table. Matthew would have me flay myself open for the poking and prodding of men who have nothing at stake in this debate besides a theological exercise.

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What Volunteering With Cats Taught Me About Talking to Humans

This awareness of the communication gaps and the methods of communicating between the species has had an effect on how I live and communicate with humans. Don’t mistake me here, I’m not comparing humans to animals in a one to one ratio. But that learning and knowing and understanding carefully how people respond to each other and how things can go has made it easier for me to feel confident in my conversations and discussions.

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Avoiding Heartbreak Means Avoiding Your Self

The whole “first love-heartbreak” is something that purity culture is pretty bent on trying to avoid – ideally, you should avoid dating altogether until you’re ready to marry, because then you won’t get your heart broken a million times and you won’t be “damaged goods.” We should avoid heartbreak at all costs because it allows you to present a clean and pure heart to your future spouse – only that person will know you; only that person will care that deeply about you.

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