Posts tagged sexual dysfunction
Why Do Evangelicals Think Everyone Is Addicted to Porn?

When we pathologize certain behaviors while simultaneously misunderstanding what that pathology actually means, we create a world of fear, a world of shame. We make it impossible for people to differentiate between normal sexual expression and experience and the dangerous, life-altering effects of sexual addiction. And that, of course, is the goal – evangelicalism thrives on the fear of our own bodies, so keeping us in the dark about potential addictions prevents us from actually confronting the idea that we might be sexual beings altogether.

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Modern Worship Music is Foreplay, Or Why I Hate Going to Church

So much of contemporary worship music has departed from traditional workings of lament, praise, and complicated confrontation with God. Instead, we sing “Blessed Be Your Name” until our ears bleed from the repetition. We need music that doesn’t simply invoke an orgiastic ecstasy with God. We need music that challenges and takes the theology we sing of seriously.

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Leaving Purity Culture: Now What?

One of the popular arguments in evangelical Christianity is that any kind of ethic not based in literal biblical thinking is not really an ethic – it is a relativistic, amoral form of thought, developed to make people feel good. But such strictures fall apart when you realize that a lot of the sexual ethics from the “secular” world not only mirror a healthier Biblical ideal but they do a better job of allowing for different experiences and centering the health of people involved.

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Consent is Not a Negotiation: Love, Respect, and Warped Ideas of Sin

The evangelical purity movement proposes a view of marriage and sex in which one person’s pleasure is consistently prioritized over another’s bodily autonomy. It is a view of marriage that insists the spouse is a masturbatory aide for their partner, rather than a full and consenting participant in the act, because they already consented when they said "I do."

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Marriage is a Covenant, Not a Contract

Marriage is first and foremost about two people coming together, committing to be with each other and to become a new family. The sexual relationship is one element of a number of things that have to come together and be communicated about in order to make a marital relationship work. This new family must decide where and how they’ll live, how they’ll communicate and check in on the relationship, make end of life decisions in the event of illness or accidents, what churches they’ll attend, whether or not to have kids and how they will parent them. It is two different people working out how to support each other throughout their lives and committing to loving each other (often) exclusively. This may or may not include sex, but sex is not the end-all-be-all of the marital relationship.

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