Posts tagged sexual ethics
Sexual Identity is Not a Moral Position

It is not a moral solipsism that refuses criticism of my bisexuality, my selfhood. It is a fight for survival of that very self. My identity is not a moral position and as such, it is impossible to engage in criticism of that which cannot be placed on the table. Matthew would have me flay myself open for the poking and prodding of men who have nothing at stake in this debate besides a theological exercise.

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Avoiding Heartbreak Means Avoiding Your Self

The whole “first love-heartbreak” is something that purity culture is pretty bent on trying to avoid – ideally, you should avoid dating altogether until you’re ready to marry, because then you won’t get your heart broken a million times and you won’t be “damaged goods.” We should avoid heartbreak at all costs because it allows you to present a clean and pure heart to your future spouse – only that person will know you; only that person will care that deeply about you.

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Unlearning Purity Culture: Beyond Vanilla (Part 2)

 believe God made sexuality as way for people to share love, intimacy and trust with their partners. Sexuality -- when used well -- brings people together and builds people up. If you are using your sexuality to seek your partner’s greatest good, and if your partner is using their sexuality to seek your greatest good, you are honoring God with your sexuality, even if your sexuality is outside the norm.

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Unlearning Purity Culture: Beyond Vanilla (Part 1)

My core argument is that there is no inherent conflict between BDSM and Christianity. Like any intimate activity, choosing to engage in BDSM could be wise or unwise and loving or unloving. It all depends on the context, the state of your heart, the details of your relationship -- etc. That’s why it is very important to have conversations with trusted friends and mentors about what decisions in BDSM are healthy and loving and which are not.

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Unlearning Purity Culture: Intentionality

The purity movement has had the problematic effect of removing intentionality from the sexual equation, particularly for single people. It has long been a source of deep shame for many, and shame is an ingrained response that is hard to move past. But being intentional, being safe, is far better emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Be intentional. Take those steps. And be free.

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