Posts in Personal stories
Avoiding Heartbreak Means Avoiding Your Self

The whole “first love-heartbreak” is something that purity culture is pretty bent on trying to avoid – ideally, you should avoid dating altogether until you’re ready to marry, because then you won’t get your heart broken a million times and you won’t be “damaged goods.” We should avoid heartbreak at all costs because it allows you to present a clean and pure heart to your future spouse – only that person will know you; only that person will care that deeply about you.

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"Called to Singleness": A Story in Five Parts

I’m 29. I’m sitting in a coffee shop, working like a mofo on book proposals, freelance writing assignments and preparation to move overseas for a second Master’s degree. I’ve come out as bisexual. I’ve been on my own for 99% of my adult life, and I’m finally okay with that. I’m confident; I’m my own woman. I’m happy with my career and I’m happy with what’s going on in my life. I’ve stopped wondering if I’m “called to singleness” or to marriage. I’ve stopped believing that God meddles so deeply in my affairs that They guide each and every daily decision.

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Confession: I Sometimes Miss Being Fundamentalist

But I think if I disown that person entirely, I disown the good parts of me that are still learning, still loving, still open to the Word. I disown the earnestness that drove me to explore my faith more deeply and more zealously than ever. I cannot disown the foolhardy pursuit of truth that was part of me in those times – though I can disown the bad behavior that resulted from that pursuit.

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Modern Worship Music is Foreplay, Or Why I Hate Going to Church

So much of contemporary worship music has departed from traditional workings of lament, praise, and complicated confrontation with God. Instead, we sing “Blessed Be Your Name” until our ears bleed from the repetition. We need music that doesn’t simply invoke an orgiastic ecstasy with God. We need music that challenges and takes the theology we sing of seriously.

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